Still call it Magic
by Micron
Summary: Philip/Lukas. Canon compliant(e06, s01). Philip couldn't take it any longer. He had to get away from all the mess that was his life. But then, Lukas appears and finally tells the truth and gives Philip hope for a better future.
1. Chapter 1

Still call it Magic

Disclaimer: do not own anything.

A/N: Coldplay – Magic; wrote this without Beta so please bear with me.

Philip couldn't believe it was true. Lukas was standing before Helen, showing her the gun he hid. Probably telling Helen the truth. He could hear their muffled voices coming through from outside. And then there was the moment both Lukas and Helen looked at him. Helens expression was troubled and he could see the guilt and something else he couldn't quite place on her face. Was it hatred? Or was that shame?

On the other side, Lukas' expression was quite clear, he felt remorse. Philip knew he was sorry but he wasn't sure he could stand the betrayal from both, his foster mother and the taller boy. But he was sure he didn't want to leave Gabe, which sighed with relief when the truth was told. Gabe always believed and trusted Philip, no matter what. He never have felt so connected with someone before he met his foster father. He'd never say it outloud but he appreciated him and his love so much, sometimes even more than his mothers love which has always been shadowed by her beloved drugs, her withdrawals. He appreciated pure and unconditional trust Gabe put in him.

He slowly pushed the door open and dragged himself towards them. Philip crossed his arms in front of him and sighed.

''Do you believe me now, Helen? Or do you still not trust me?,'' Philip quipped bitterly. He had to confess, he was dissapointed and sad that she rather believed Lucas over Philip.

''Look, Philip, I'm really sorry but without proof, I can't conclude anything, you can understand that?,'' she replied and looked to Gabe for help. He still sat in the car and watched the scene before him. When Helen almost pleaded her with her eyes to come and helped, Lukas spoke in quiet voice.

''It's all my fault, that I didn't tell when I should.''

Lucas looked down and nervously worried over the hem of his shirt. Philip just looked at Lucas. He knew he was scared and ashamed. But couldn't he understand that Philip felt the same? He was also scared that the murderer recognised him somewhere and came and kill them both. He still felt deep sadness when he thought about Tommy and his girlfriend. Still felt responsible for their death even if he was bribed into silence.

''You know what, Lukas? Fuck you,'' Philip hissed and angrily stomped towards the forrest. He was so angry and disappointed by both of them. He felt sorry for Lukas, that he was such a coward. He felt sad becouse Helen made him apologise to Lukas for somthing he didn't do. And he was mad at Lukas for placing his own faults on Philip. In front of Helen and Gabe. And Bo, who hated and despised him, and what hurt the most was that Bo said that he shouldn't come near Lukas. That not only he was fucking unwanted and fucking everybody avoided him at school and threw pitying looks or cans at him, that nobody believed him, that he was a fucking loser, but that he let himself down.

After everything that Lukas did to him, he still forgave him. And he forgave Helen. Because he was nothing and it didn't matter that he felt like the most disgusting trash. He always had to be strong for everyone in his life. For Lukas, for his mother, for Helen. And everybody stomped on him, because they knew he'd never leave them. Because he was so selfless. So depressed but at the same time so reliable. So understanding. So kind.

He slowed down and the tears run down his face without him even noticing. He looked around. His feet automatically brought him to his favourite spot. Before him, there was a field full of poppy flowers and high weeds. The rare sunflowers were reaching towards the weak November sunbeams. The meadow was rounded by tall trees which gave Philip feeling of comfort and he felt safe in that particular place. He sat under the high spruce and shuffled through his pockets in his bag. He kept that one cigarette with him. He didn't really like the smell and the taste of cigarette but it gave him that calm feeling. He rarely lit any but this time, he knew he needed it. Philip smiled sadly. The smell reminded him of his mother. He slowly exhaled and inhaled on the cigarette and his world was spinning. He put out the cigarette butt and stared at the flowers gently bending in the wind.

His mind began to clear. Philip closed his eyes and breathed. He loved the peace and quiet that Tivoli provided. Even if his world was crushing down, he adored the nature in the small city, the unique smell of the rain, the forrests and the trees. He loved the calm sound of the water stream nearby his secret spot.

Suddenly, he heard the unnatural roaring of the motorcycle. Philip jumped at his feet and swiped on his clothes to get rid of any dirt and leaves. He cautiously looked around and spotted Lukas' motorcycle riding in his direction. He turned around and began to stride quickly through high weeds and grass. He could hear Lukas kill the motorcycle and that Lukas was running behind him. He began to run himself and looked back. Lukas' steps were too long and he knew Lukas was going to catch him eventually. He slowed down and stood in the middle of the meadow and he looked around. The sun was shining, slowly setting down and clouds were bright pink and orange. He never saw that in the city.

''What do you want, Lukas? I really don't have patience for you right now. Or do you need to tell me that I should stay away from you in the school again?,'' he said quietly but his voice was filled with sadness and despair.

Lukas grabbed his arms and forcibly turned him around. He saw the dry tear tracks on Lukas face. He looked desperate and hopeless. He tried to hug Philip but the smaller of the boys pushed him away so Lukas stumbled back and the shock was visible on his face.

''Do you think that you can only hug me and everything will be allright and I will forgive you? You are a fucking git, do you know that? You put all the blame on me. And the drugs? My fucking mother is a junkie and you lie about that shit. That I MADE YOU STEAL FROM YOUR OWN FATHER?!,'' Philip yelled. That was it. He couldn't take it anymore.

''You think that you can have me and lie to me about how you like me and still date that stupid bitch, because that's normal? And you told Helen that I lied and she believed you? Like I'm some kind of shit that doesn't deserve trust? You know what, Lukas? I've had it. Just go and lie on, that's obviously what you want. Lie even to yourself if that comforts you. Just go away from me. You thought that I'm some kind of freak from the beginning anyways. Kindly fuck off now, I really don't want to see your face,'' he continued in harsh voice. He was letting it all out. Philip felt better than in a while now. He finally mustered some courage and told Lukas everything that was on his mind. He was relieved.

Philip looked directly at Lukas, his eyes cold and unforgiving. Lukas just stared at him and kept quiet. He didn't know what to say anyways. He knew he was acting irationally and he was a total douchebag. But he was so scared the whole time until now that he told everything to Helen. And broke it up with Rose through text. Yes, another douchebag move. Lukas knew that he couldn't bare to touch her anymore now that he actually looked at Philip again, anyways.

He was the best human beeing he met in his whole life. So fragile but so strong at the same time. So kind and loving. And he was so warm and understanding. And so fucking beautiful with his large innocent eyes, sensual lips and curly soft hair. He missed him so much. He loved him, even though he never admit that to Philip. He loved him more than anything, even motocross and his parents.

He couldn't believe his thoughts but they were true. And if he didn't say something quickly he knew he would lose Philip for good.

''I love you. I miss you. I'm so sorry, I'll do anything for you. I'm stupid I did all that shit just to protect myself because I am a coward. I told Helen everything. She's waiting for you at your home. Please, just come with me back so we can talk,'' Lucas begged. He was a mess but he realised that he hadn't have it hard compared to Philip when he talked to Helen about Philip. Lukas just stared at Philip and waited for him to do anything. He was never that nervous in his life like he was now.

Philip stared back at Lukas. He could hear that Lukas was desperate, that he was begging. He could see the uninhibited love that shone through Lukas' eyes. And the love was directed at him. He couldn't believe that was happening. Not a hour ago, his life was at the lowest point. Without his mother, who was in rehab, without his douchebag boyfriend Lukas, without Gabe, who he had to say goodbye to. And without Helen.

And now, Lukas was trying to convience him that everything was going to be allright?

Philips sight began to blurr and he felt weak. He collapsed on the grass and tried to breathe slowly. His heart felt like it was going to explode. He suddenly saw black and he fell to nothingness. The last thing he heard was Lukas' terrified voice calling his name.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry for the mistakes

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
Chapter 2

Philip slowly woke up. His head was pounding and his heart was so loud that it rang in his ears with each heartbeat. He opened his eyes and looked at his surroundings. He was lying in his bed, the courtians were closed. Philip searched for his phone and found it on his bedtable.

11 pm. He goaned and laid back. He heared shuffling behind his door and someone softly knocked on it.

''Can I come in, Philip?,'' the deep voice rang. Gabe already pushed the door open and looked at Philip.

''What happened? I don't remember anything after Lukas came and talked to Helen,'' Philip said quietly, sitting up on bed and looking at his foster parent.

''Lukas found you in the forest. You fainted and he brought you back here. Said that you had an argument and then just fell down. He's waiting for you, if you want to talk to him. But you must know, you don't own him anything. How are you feeling?, Gabe explained and sat beside Philip and took teenager's hands in his, drawing circles with his thumbs on the back of Philips hands.

Philip was shocked by Gabe's gentle gesture. He stared at their hands and Gabe retreated his. He wasn't sure that Philip was comfortable with the touch. He stood and walked to the door and looked back at Philip.

''Sorry. I'm okay, just a bit tired. You can say to Lukas that he can come in,'' Philip replayed and blushed slightly. Gabe smiled and left the door open. Philip could hear hushed voices and rolled his eyes. There were always people talking behind his back, never telling Philip things related to him directly to him in this town. His foster parents, schoolmates, even or better, firstly, Lukas, who hid his true self from everyone, including Philip.

He turned away from the door, laid back and scrolled through the news on the phone. He was puzzled to be honest; he couldn t remember, what happened after. He could recall that he walked to his secret place and that Lucas came shortly after him, but didn't know what they talked about. He remembered being angry about everything but the memory of the conversation still wouldn't come back.

He was deep in his thought and didn t hear Lukas enter. Lukas just stood at Philip's door, ashamed and nervous. He didn t know how to start the conversation. Gabe told him, that Philip didn't remember everything and overall, everything was just messed up and awkward. Lukas moved towards the bed and sat carefully down.

Philip jumped at the sudden change of weight on his bed and turned around quickly. There was Lukas, looking Philip straight in the eyes with an apologetic expression on his face.

''What do you want to talk about, Lukas?,'' Philip said bitterly.

Lukas sighed and started to caress Philip's hair. He sighed and started what he knew was going to be a long talk.

''Look Philip. I know that apology isn't enough for you to forgive me all the shit I've done to you. But I am sincerily sorry for all of it. I was stupid to think that hiding the truth was going to be easy and the right way to deal with these things. I panicked, okay? I couldn't tell anybody about you. I couldn't leave Rose. I couldn't hang out with you. And most definitely couldn't tell about the murders. I thought that motocross was worth all of that. But when dad told me, that Gabe and Helen were going to take you away, I realised that without you being beside me, I couldn't be alive. Not really. You are the first thing in my life that made me feel so happy and to be honest, when I was with you, that was the only time I didn't pretend to be that boring boy that obeys his father and leads a normal life. So please, try to understand me. I'll do anything to make you understand how much you mean to me.''

Lukas took a deep breath. He never was a big talker and he has outdone himself. Of course, if that ment that Philip would stay in his life, he'd talk all day long.

Philip sighed and slipped his head away from Lukas touch. He was sure that Lukas was just yacking to save his ass and make Philip believe the nonsense he was talking even though Lukas face was never that serious before.

''And I should believe you? Look, it s good that you told Helen about murders and all, but there are so many things that you fucked up. And I know that you want to lead your boring life. And believe me, that's impossible if you want to have me in your life. I am done hiding with you. I know it's not easy to come out in that stupid village but that's life, its not fair. You have to deal with that. You are fucking gay even if you tell yourself hundred times a day that you're not. Not to mention that you d never sacrifice your fake friends and your girlfriend. So go on, pretend your life away, I don't care. I don't need another selfish bastard like you in my life. I've had enough of them already,'' Philip snapped and stood up. He yanked on his sweatpants and shirt and turned his back to Lukas, switched on the computer and sat behind it.

''I broke up with Rose, Philip. You know that I like you and I know that I fucked up, but couldn't you give me one more chance? I'd do anything, Philip. Please, listen to me, please let me make it up to you,'' Lukas begged with pitiful voice. He hugged Philip from behind in awkward angle and placed a soft kiss on the top of the brunettes head.

Philip sighed. He knew he was too weak to say no. He never could let someone beg his forgiveness. He knew that everybody were irrational and plain stupid sometimes. And he knew Lukas was so ignorant that he didn't know the half time that he was hurting Philip so much with the things he said or done. Philip could see that Lukas wasn t used'to honest relationships like one he had with Philip. Lukas wasn't used to be appreciated for what he was, for what was his true self. All his relationships were based on dishonesty and all of Lukas friends, Rose including, were just abusing his popularity for their own benefit. And even if Lukas couldn't see that, Philip could and he felt for Lukas.  
Philip was always the kind that rather had no people who would like him or care about him than having some pretend relationships. It was so meaningless, all the hierarchy that all the schools had, sorting people into groups by popularity. If they didn't fit, they were outcasts. He never felt that in the city so strongly like he did in Tivoli. He couldn't believe that those teenagers were so disrespectful to throw trash into another living being. But he was obviously wrong, that was whole new kind of low that he had gone through. To be honest, he wasn't surprised that Lukas was acting like one of them. It's easier to back out than to resist and be yourself.

Philip had so many mixed feelings inside he was about to explode. And Lukas was still there, holding him while the tears slowly slipped down Philips face. When Lukas felt the wetness, he turned Philips chair to look at his boyfriend. His thumbs wiped the tears away and he looked straight in those wide brown eyes, filled with tears.

He tried to convey everything he felt when he kissed Philip and framed his face with his hands. He missed the touch of Philips lips on his own. He missed the feeling of his warm and soft and at the same time rough skin under his touch. He missed Philips smile and their playful bickering. Their long quiet hours when they just enjoyed eachothers' company.

Philip finally broke the silence.

''I have to talk to Gabe and Helen. And I need to think about all the things. See you tomorrow, after school or something. I ll text you, okay?,'' he said delicately and gently pushed Lukas away from him.

Lukas just nodded in understanding, even if he was hurt and confused. He didn't know what to expect from Philip.

''Philip.. Just tell me one thing. Will you be able to forgive me some day?,'' he asked quietly, holding the doorknob, looking behind his back at his beloved Philip.

Philip smiled for the first time. His eyes lit up and Lukas knew that moment that everything was going to be okay someday.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Next few days flew by without either boys noticing. Lukas saw Philip in school at some classes and texted him a few messages a day. He recieved short replies from the brunet but that was all Lukas managed to get out of Philip. He tried to talk to him at school but Philip avoided him. Whenever Lukas managed to establish eyecontact, Philips eyes seemed distant and cold, and Philip always quickly broke it and accelerated his walking, passing Lukas without any word, even if Lukas called after him.

Lukas was lost. He knew he messed everything up but he missed Philip. Philip said he wanted to think about everything and Lukas was willing to give him all the time he needed but he didn't expect that he'd be downright ignored.

Rose seethed with resentment at Lukas. He understood that, it was bad to break up with someone, and it's kind of disrespectful to break it off with someone through the messages. But he really didn't expected that Rose would turn all the school against him. Roses friends made remarks about how Lukas was the worst kind of guy and was such a coward that he didn't even bothered to tell Rose that he doesn't want to be with her in person. Rose glared at him everytime she saw him and always began to whisper to her best friends sarcastic comments about his looks and behavior and she made sure that he was aware of the content. His male friends avoided him or looked at him with contempt and called him coward or douchebag. But Lukas didn't really care for his reputation, he dicovered. It was actually quite a bliss to be one of the geeks when things setteled down a bit. He didn't have to pretend to be happy all the time. He didn't have to be a part of his bully ex-friends. And most importantly, he got to talk to Philip. Or he thought he would.

He was also slightly disappointed that he couldn't get sponsorship but he knew that Philip was totally worth it and that he still had chanses with other sponsors after all that mess with murders would be cleared up.

His father was still mad with him for being dishonest with him. In few days time, they sat down and Lukas apologised again. And talked to his father about the murders. He told him about drugs, that Philip wasn't the one who wanted to take them. And he told him that he had problems with sleeping.

The nightmares were still haunting him and he felt paranoic and tired all the time. His face was getting paler each day and the bags under his eyes were getting bigger and darker. He couldn't pay attention in school and his skills with bike lowered to the point of a begginer.

After three weeks of silent treatment, Lukas was desperate.

 _He watched the guy that was captivated stand up and take the gun from back of guy with long brown hair and tattooed arms. He shot two of them and pointed a shotgun at the tattooed guy._  
 _The tatted guys eyes were blown wide and he pleaded the shooter not to kill him. The murderer paused for a few seconds and he shot the tatted guy right in the forehead. The blood splattered everywhere and he heared the dead guy collapsed on the floor. The killer looked around and Lukas froze. The killer saw him. He was beggining to panic and he backed away. The shooter opened the doors and pointed at Lukas forehead._

 _''You shouldn't have see that. I need you to die. And your friend,'' the killer slowly drawled. He pointed at the bed. He saw something shift under it and Philip slowly crawled from under it._

 _''No! Philip, run!,'' he cried and tried to move. Murderer pointed his gun at Philip and Lukas froze again._

 _''Don't kill him. He saw nothing. Please, let him go. He won't tell anyone!,'' Lukas pleaded._

 _Killer just scoffed and pulled the trigger. Philip was dead. The puddle of blood was getting bigger and bigger around the boy. Lukas hurried towards Philips body. He was dead. He began to cry and turned around to shout at shooter and then, everything went black._

Lukas woke up with a start. He was drenched with sweat. His breathing was heavy and uneven. He shuffled between his sheets and found his phone. It showed 3.05 a.m.

He sighed and laid back. That was the first time that the killer shot Philip. He was terrified and hurt. His heart chlenched when he pictured Philips dead body from the nightmare.

He was getting hysteric and just wanted to see if Philip was okay. His rational side told him that he just dreamed about Philip being dead but he was getting more and more paranoic. What if the killer really saw Philip? It was more likely that he saw the doe-eyed boy than him.

Lukas took his phone again and called Philip. He knew he was probably sleeping and he won't pick up the phone even if he was awake, but he had to reach Philip and make sure he was alive. He closed his eyes and felt tears slip from his eyes. Lukas didn't even notice that he was crying the whole time.

''Lukas, what the fuck?,'' Philip said groggily through the phone. Lukas felt relief settle down in him and he let out the breath he was unconsciously holding. He didn't even care how he sounded, he was borderline crazy at this point.

''Oh my god, thank you. You're alive. I'm sorry, I just needed to check. Go back to sleep, honey,'' Lukas whispered and wanted to end the call.

''Lukas, what's wrong? Meet me somewhere. No, forget that, I'll be there in 10. Just stay awake please,'' Philip said quickly, nearly panicking.

The foster child knew that something had to be very wrong that Lukas called him in the middle of the night. He quickly pulled up nearest sweatpants and pulled on a jacket. He ran out and climbed his bike. He pushed the pedals forcibly and adrenaline rushed through his system. Philip was scared that something was wrong with Lukas.

Philip's breath was heavy and he threw his bike in the grass and run up the stairs through the doors. He threw open Lukas' door and rushed towards the biker.

He was sitting in the middle of the bed, his eyes large and frightened, glassy. He was shivering, shirtless, wearing only pants. He jumped when Philip rushed towards him and just looked at Philip with vacant expression.

The brunet noticed how pale the biker was. He was thinner than he remembered him to be. His cheeks were hollow and the tears were shining from them. And the worst were his eyes. Haunted, sad and hopeless.

Philip sat down cautiouslly beside his boyfriend and softly put Lukas' blonde locks behind his ears. Lukas leaned into the caress and closed his eyes.

''What's wrong, Lukas?,'' Philip whispered, caressing through Lukas' hair, comforting him.

''He killed you. In my nightmares. I panicked, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-'' Lukas murmured, sobbing.

''Lukas, I'm here, I'm fine. Please, look at me. You'll be fine, I swear,'' Philip cut in and wrapped his arms around the sobbing boy and cradeled him.

Lukas snuggled with Philip, hardly believing he was fine for the nightmares were so realistic.

He began to doze off and Philip gently pushed him back and he laid on the mattress. Philip covered him with quilt and laid beside him, caressing, kising his hair, face, lips and neck, whispering calm words and endearings.

Lukas drifted into a tight and restful slumber without nightmares, first in a long time. And so did Philip.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
A/N: Thank you for your lovely reviews and favs. :)

Philip slowly cracked his eyes open. He felt like he was sleeping on a soft, warm cloud. The warmth that surrounded him was strange but much appreciated, especially in one of those cold mornings like that one was. He blinked to get rid of blurry vision and stretched his stiff arms.

And then it hit him.

He wasn't sleeping in his own bed. He saw that his so called warmth provider was none other than Lukas which was sleeping peacefully beside Philip.

Philip recalled that he fell asleep last night beside Lukas, fully clothed, comforting his so called boyfriend, even though he promised himself that he'd never initiated any sort of contact with Lukas without Lukas' own initiative to establish better and more open relationship with Philip. He didn't really expect Lukas to come out in front of whole school, but what he did expect was that he'd tell his dad and closer friends. Including Rose that at least deserved the truth, even if Philip never liked her.

He was quite shocked when he woke up around three o'clock at night when he heard his phone ringing. He was pretty sure that he was dreaming when he saw Lukas' name and photo of him smiling at the camera displayed for incoming call. He shrugged and answered, he was dreaming anyways.

But when he heard Lukas' voice, he was awake in a moment. Something was terribly wrong, he never called him, not in the middle of the night. And what was the thing that really got to Philip was that Lukas called him 'honey'. With such a desperate voice, full of relief and he dare say, love, when he realised that Philip was fine, he called him 'honey' for the first time. Philip wasn't really a big romantic but those kind of endearings and the worry that was so obvious in Lukas' voice, he couldn't resist. On the top of all that, he saw in school, how distracted and tired Lukas looked. He wasn't one of the popular guys anymore. Not that Philip cared, but he did notice. And to be honest, he was quite relieved. With all the popularity, Lukas always felt pressured and felt the need to meet the standards that were set if you wanted to be cool. He expected that after all this shit with the murders was resolved, Lukas was going to act more open and carefree because he was one of 'outcastas' now. Which meant that they could hang out at and after school after they talked things through, and maybe they could even make their relationship public.

He woke up from his mind stupor when Lukas started to toss beside him. He was in dilemma, one part of Philip still wanted to punish Lukas for being a coward and insensitive prick and told him that he should leave right now, before Lukas would wake up; the other, softer one, told him to stay with Lukas to support him and finally talk to him. Of course, the softer, kinder side of Philip won, as always.

He sighed and laid back, his arms supporting his head, facing Lukas and the other hand stroking Lukas' arm softly, barely touching with his fingertips.  
Lukas yawned and cracked one eye open.

''Philip, are you really here or am I still dreaming?,'' Lukas mumbled, clearly too sleepy to register the reality and closed his eyes again, just letting go and enjoy 'dream' Philips touch.

Philip just smiled slightly and continued to stroke up and down his arm slowly. If he wasn't sure that he should stay with Lukas before, he was now. This sweet boy was whole new side of Lukas he never knew that existed, and to be honest, he missed Lukas too much to ignore him any further.

After a while, Philip's stroking stopped an he reached for his phone beside the lamp on the bedside table to check the time. Lukas' eyebrows furrowed and he opened his eyes quickly, missing the contact of Philips hand.

Lukas just stared at Philip and his eyes were clouded, looking at Philip like he never did before. He recalled the nightmares and that he called Philip to make sure he was allright, but couldn't believe that Philip stayed the night. Not that he was afraid of his father, not anymore. He drew the conclusion that without Philip, his life wasn't worth the effort. Not that he was suicidal but really, his life would be dull and miserable without the brunet. It really was kind of sentimental and at the same time sad thought, but that was the reality. He lost all passion, hope and happines when Philip was ignoring him.

Philip laughed softly and his eyes lit when he saw the astounded look Lukas was giving him.

''Hey. Slept well?,'' Philip asked, his expression turning serious.

''Yeah. What about you? I can't believe you slept here,'' Lukas replied, still looking like he was struck by lightning.

Philips expression closed off. Of course, Lukas was still selfish and thought only about what his dad would say if he knew.

''You know what? I'm going. I shouldn't have sleep here, it was a mistake,'' Philip hissed and backed away from Lukas.

Lukas was frightened. He was about to lose Philip again. He never was good with words and now he had to act quickly, choosing the right words.  
He grabbed Philips hand when he stood up from the bed quickly to catch Philip.

''I didn't mean it like that, Philip. I'm happy that you slept here but after all the shit and you ignoring me, I was surprised. That you came at fucking three in the morning just to make sure if I was okay,'' Lukas quickly said, his eyes pleading Philip to stay.

Philip turned back to look at Lukas. This was so exhausting, all the emotional rollercoasters. He had to set things straight.

''Lukas, that's your last chance. I'm going to tell Helen and Gabe about the cabin and that we saw everything together. and about us. I expect from you to do the same, in time. They won't say anything to your dad but I can't pretend that nothing is between us anymore. And about that dinner, you should tell the truth too,'' Philip said stiffly with a blank expression on his face.

''I told him already,'' Lukas whispered, still holding Philips hand like it was some sort of life provider.

''What?,'' Philip replied, surprised. He really didn't expect that anything was changing but evidently, it was.

'' I told him about the cabin and about drugs. And about the nightmares. I just can't tell him about you yet. Just give me a bit more time. I swear I'll tell him. Soon. Just... Stay, please. Don't leave me, I need you. I know I don't deserve you, I know I acted like some egoistic son of a bitch, but I really need you. Please, Philip, stay,'' Lukas sobbed, tears steaming down his face. He knew that he was beeing melodramatic and sounded weak but that was what he felt like. There wasn't any more space for pretending. He didn't want to and couldn't go on pretending. He just wanted his angelic, beautiful Philip to stay beside him.

Philip was shocked by the flood of emotions that poured out of Lukas' mouth and body. He dropped all the shields, just standing there, waiting for Philip to decide. Philip couldn't believe that Lukas was able to do that. It felt like he put his life in Philips hands. So fragile and vulnerable. He was moved, surprised, happy and at the same time frightened by all that power that Lukas gave to him. He was sorry almost the moment he gave the ultimatum Lukas had to face, he really wasn't the kind of guy to force somebody into that kind of position.

He froze and then he just tightly hugged Lukas who embraced him back in rib crushing hug but neither cared.


End file.
